Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
