Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I forgot how hot balto sounded
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
