Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
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