Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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