shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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