You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize