Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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