If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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