I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize