I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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