i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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