Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Can vaginas get frostbite?
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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