about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
