grandma shit on top of the toilet
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Randomize
