the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize
