but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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