Sponge bath it is.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
