Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
i now understand why vodka
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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