Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
is wine microwaveable?
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
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