I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
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