rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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