when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
She needs sedatives and a leash
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
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