i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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