I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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