After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
