I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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