i may or may not be watching the land before time
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
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