All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
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