Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize