and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
