Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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