In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
