bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
why do cheetos always look like penises
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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