I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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