Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
