i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
