That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
