Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
