How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
