Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
