Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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