Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
We got so high we made milksteak
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
