Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
