If that was your dad, he is hot
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Randomize
