The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
