I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
