i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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