I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
