we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Is it because I queefed?
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
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