Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize