Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
