Swine flu. Run for my life!
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
