do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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