What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Randomize
