Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
