Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
