seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
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