The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Couch. On fire.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
