The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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