# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
