dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Randomize
