in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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