I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
