I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
i believe in u and ur pee
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
