THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Send help, water and tortillas.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
