Already got asked if we're dating
Ambien. No doubt about it.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
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