You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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